what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am available for nakedness
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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