I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
