Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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