so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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