Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
