I am puke
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
