reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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