so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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