I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
