whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
