My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
