Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
