sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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