Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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