We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
