No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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