no you cant smoke seaweed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
