You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I could make wine with my vomit
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
