Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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