ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she told me i tasted like america
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
