Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
