After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
