ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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