She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
