i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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