i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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