never play flip cup with pint glasses
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
