You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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