You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
