Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
