oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
