That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
