sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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