Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
