yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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