Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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