Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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