yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
