He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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