She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
