I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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