What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
