Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize