Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize