If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
