When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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