CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
