I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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