Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
