Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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