All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
