i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
