he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize