woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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