I wanna bring you to show and tell
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize