What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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