Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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