Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
