Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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