Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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