I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
