Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
