If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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