your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize